I felt like there was not enough love in the world for me.
That’s how I had gone through my whole life before I came to Tantric meditation. Love felt scarce. There just wasn’t enough, and there was never going to be enough for me. This fear and scarcity permeated every part of my life, and it was a miserable way to live.
I can’t believe how much my life has changed since I was introduced to the Tantric practices. And the more I do the practices, the more these beautiful changes show up in my life.
The most amazing thing is that nothing external had to change in order for me to have a totally different life. I am now able to drop into my heart and see that there has been such an abundance of love in my life all along! It didn’t always show up the way I thought it would, and when I lived in my head, I couldn’t always recognize it for what it was. But I have been loved and cherished by so many people in my life, and opening my heart through Tantra has allowed me to really see it.
For example, for a long time, all of my childhood memories felt very cold, especially those that took place in my childhood home. The faces I see in that home are cold, troubled, and consumed with their own pain. I tend to express my love through physical touch and kind words, but I have very few memories of being hugged, kissed, or given words of affirmation. So my mind worked out a story that I have a scarcity of love in my life. And everything that I experienced was filtered through that story, so it perpetuated as I moved through life.
But through the Tantric practices, I have dropped into my heart and have been able to experience love in a totally different way. When I look back on my childhood with my heart, I remember the five times we went to Disney World, the season passes to the best theater in town, the Rainbow Brite canopy my mom lovingly put over my bed, and the time my dad painted my room purple because it was what his darling daughter wanted. I remember the movie nights at home and the trips to the museum and the delicious meals made with so much care. I remember being cared for. I remember always having everything I needed.
We didn’t have a lot of money when I was growing up, and both of my parents worked full time and dealt with a lot of difficult issues themselves. But despite that, they did their very best to give my brother and I beautiful life experiences. They put thought and effort into giving us a rich, full life. This was how they expressed their love. And today, because I can drop into my heart through the Tantric practices, I can feel that love as though it is a warm hug. And the love fills my heart and my body, and allows me to heal and be at peace, and then radiate that love out to the world.
Because of Tantric meditation, I see that I have, and have always had, an abundance of love in my life. And that has been the most valuable gift I could ever receive.
Hi, I’m Shivangi! I’m working hard to get my new website up and running. Wish me luck!